Gross Ghastly Gore, this will make your eyes sore.

Warning guys, you are about to see some pretty gross photos. They are a little juicy but hey, I love pictures that tell the true story so here it goes

Sitting in the ditch, no memory of this point in time. Check the gash on my left cheek! Geez, bit dirty!




Clean cut to my right shin, rock on.

What you see when your team physio takes his i-phone into the operating theatre





Oh my god, he's alive!



Good job Doc



Porn Star, heading to the airport in ambulance style



Porn Star, the plane to Melbourne, this chapter is closed

Sweet memories of a fun trip with a rough finish. I learnt a lot in two weeks, most importantly to enjoy the good times while you can; who knows when you are going to career off a road into a rocky ditch at 70 Kph? Exactly, no one knows, it could happen to you!

But seriously, I got some time off now and some study to start, it never stops!

Have a good one.

Scar Face

Still twiddling my thumbs at the Epworth. For the time been, check the crazy number of silken stitches I ended up with in my face..solid job there. They  took a long time to take out yesterday, was truly a great way to pad out the afternoon and bring the weekend to a close.

And now to peek at my right shin. Basically the tendons here got severed agaisnt the jagged rock face I hit. So the Chinese surgeon stapled the tendons back together then stapled up my leg like so. Some big nasty stitches there!

And spot the dirt and mould  on the roof above me, this is the view from my Hainan hospital bed. Fortunately I was not able to snap photos of the rat under my bed.

I've got loads to write up about the actual tour and about the political drama of getting from the Chinese Hospital to the airport and on the plane! The last 5 days have been draining like no other 5 days of my life!

Quick outlook on the recovery is looking like the broken hip will heal fine on it's own with a few weeks rest and the tendons on my right leg need a similar recovery time.

I'm Alive!

It's Been a pretty hectic fortnight.

I've got loads of stories, photos and lovely insights from the biggest and fiercest race I've ever started in, plus a whole swag of drama covering my crash and life in a chinese hospital. Be back with the juicy info soon, for the moment there are more pressing issues!

Jono

Off to Hainan!

Be back soon!

Will try and blog it up in my spare time.

Now I need to get my pack on.

Ciao!

Jono

Legends.

Tony Crino and John Dam are two of the nicest guys you will ever meet in the Melbourne cycling scene.

Out on the boulie yesterday I snapped a derailleur cable and on the recommendation of C-Mckenzie I went and checked out Crino Cycles in Carlton. Tony jumped straight over and helped me out, started fiddling around and got the frayed bits of cable out of the lever and housing. Thank god! That would have taken me hours! After whacking in a new cable Tony was talking about bringing my back so he can check over it completely, all the while I had a good chat with John about old bike racing stories. Great! I even got offered a coffee but I had to politely decline, aiming to keep the shot count at 4 for the day.

So if you live in the general vicinity I say get over and check this place out. You'll get great service from two guys who seem to go above and beyond the call of duty.

On a side note what an awesome day it was at Kinglake today, cyclists everywhere, even passed a recumbent going up Wild Dog.

Crash Bandicoot Part 2

Some more good'uns to add to my list I started compiling yesterday. Ah the memories, or lack thereof...

6) Tour of Tassie 2007. Coming fast (45-50k) down a hill then hit a little flat section, dog runs out from a driveway to my right, guy in front hits the dog, I hit him/dog. Fly into ditch. Knocked out. Convulse, jerk around then just flop dead still (or so I'm told), then just wake up like nothing happened. 3 days in Burnie hospital as punishment for being in the 2nd group on the road! Left hip skin once again appears to be missing. Helmet pancaked.

7) Tour of Murray, massive winds and wet road. Race is getting thrown in the gutter, I am looking to move to my right into the working line and get a sit, gap appears to be open, I start moving, someone from behind me wants the gap too, big gust of wind, handlebars lock, BANG, down we go. Hip and butt skin gone gone gone. Next 100k of racing take around 3.5 hours, epic headwind. Very lonely day! Notice in the shower apparent lack of left hip skin.

8) Some muppet crashes in front at Sandown, I go left to avoid it and he just about side rolls under my front wheel. Then Crowie runs me over. Broken collarbone and frame. Thems the breaks.

9) Tour of Thailand. Sitting 3rd GC, team meeting emphasises staying up the front and avoiding the crashes. 2nd corner, hook handlebars and bam. Down I go. Left Hip skin gone once more, quietly pleased with expert knowledge at treating disappearance of hip skin.

10) Tour of Gippsland, 4 laps to go, final crit, getting hectic. Getting Laangers to the front for the sprint, bunch gets squeezed, I hit a gap that disapears too quickly. Bars hooked, down we go. Broken helmet, hip skin gone (yes the left one), shoulder skin gone, knee skin gone, lots o' bruising and 2 fractured bones in my pelvis

Off for a trundle now!

Crash Bandicoot

Well, while having a laugh and thinking about all my crash memories, I thought, heck, this would make a great blog post. It's rough, raw, poorly edited and thrown together in no time. Just a quick statement summary, some causal factors and the end result. I'll try and update the list if I have any repressed memories come to the fore in the next couple of days!

Jono's List of Creative Ways to Loose Skin and Maybe Get a Day Off School
1) Young tacker, sprinting against mate on bike path, back wheel slips of the edge of the path and slides out. I eat dirt. More memorably, friends mum bandages me up with elastoplast, 2 hours later the red pussy blisters under the bandage reveal a latex allergy!

2) MTBing with old man, loose front wheel in some mud and slip out, old man proceeds to run up my ****. Thanks dad.

3) Exploring 'cliff' trails round yarra bend/studley park, **** myself on one section and end up falling off the edge clinging to shrubs to keep myself outta the yarra! Friend struggles to come to my aid as he is busy not wetting his pants with laughter. What are mates for...

4) Ride too fast round off-camber, greasy and wet corner near home, that I knew was off-camber, greasy and wet. Good bye left hip skin.

5) Racing down a silly hill in a crazy bunch in a juniors race in Italy. We hit a dark tunnel, pitch black wearing sunnies, going very fast, nerves high, fingering brakes in anticpation. What was I anticipating? Well, I thought maybe, just maybe, there was a good chance I migh.. BANG CRASH BANG SCREAM SCREECH CLATTER SCRAPE. I ram straight into the guy from behind. Mass pile up ensues. 45 degree handlebars for the last 1 hour of the stage, sore back!


Numbers 6+ to come in the next instalment of "Don't ride on Jono's wheel!"

I loooove cycling

EDIT- Does anyone else find it hilarious Google Ads are now pushing first aid kits?!