An Ode to the Lama

The following is something I have been meaning to write for a while now. See I have this mate, this quiet achiever, who has been kicking arse of late. But it hasn’t been all shits and giggles for this guy. The past couple of years for him have been riddled with even more crashes than me (!!!). So let’s begin…

I am talking of my arch TT rival, Shane Miller.

I first met Shane a few years ago at the local winter criterium. We both raced B grade. He won. I then found out he had only started racing in D grade two weeks ago, he won that, jumped to C, and won that. The week following his B grade win, of course, he won A grade. From bottom to top in 4 weeks, and amongst Hawthorn Cycling Club the “I Hate Shane Miller (IHSM)” club was founded.

Our rivalry flourished as we both discovered the website cycle2max.com. The next year or two of our respecting careers involved chasing down hill climb records and trying to continually best each other.  Our commitment to vertical ascension victories led us many places, the best of those being an IGA in Montrose in the Dandenongs We had been hailed on and rained on for the past 3 hours and were both frozen to death. Shane’s brilliant solution? Buy new socks. Yep, a 4 pack of socks, on went some new, dry socks and the old ones into the bin. Then we had another pit stop later on at the Black Kettle Café whereby pancakes and a 2^nd sock change gave us the motivation to get home. This was only topped by a Mt Donna Buang climb where we were greeted by snow for the last 2 kilometres. IT WAS COLD. Yeaouch.

Fast forward to 2009 where we faced off at one of Blackburn CC’s Boulevard TT’s. Being both ‘Boulie’ locals and knowing each corner so well we could ride it blindfolded we were both backing ourselves to rip the course apart. Rip it we did. What I was not expecting, however, was that the prick would beat me! By two seconds! Here you have the VIS scholarship holder getting beaten by a full time IT professional. Crap. What can I say, maybe he should search for a new employer, I hear Riis is making moves ;-)

As we have both climbed and time trialled against each other, we have both sought to outdo each other in terms of injuries inflicted. I think I got the ball rolling by being knocked cold after hitting a dog in Tasmania, Shane upped the ante with a broken collarbone at a northern combine race, I followed suit with a collarbone at a Sandown crit. Not to be outdone Shane did his other collarbone at the Tour of Bright. Believing I was still the far superior between us I thought why not break my pelvis once at Gippsland, then again in China along with a bunch of other gnarly injuries. Well only a few months ago Shane saw my raise down in Geelong by demolising his pelvic bones in a way that would make many old grannies lower their heads in shame. Yes the osteoporotic cyclist award was firmly back in Shane’s hands.

So to give some context to these reminiscent ramblings, Shane has come back with some serious form. This crazy bugger does the majority of his training in his ‘Pain Cave’, I am talking about in his apartment on the wind trainer. I think he has a serious mental disease. Honestly, turn on a little fan and put on a Foo Fighters concert recording and he rides himself into the ground A true headcase. A true Time Trialist.

But boy does the hard work pay off, lately he’s been kicking some serious arse in a bunch of different time trials. He is putting out some insane power numbers too, but you’ll have to ask him to share if you want to know. 

So watch out for his name in some future TT results. He’ll be up there. And if he’s not, he’s probably just broken another bone, but don’t worry, he’ll be back on the results sheets in no time.

PS- Shane Miller should ride nationals TT at Buninyong. HE OWES IT TO HIS FANS!