Well, while having a laugh and thinking about all my crash memories, I thought, heck, this would make a great blog post. It's rough, raw, poorly edited and thrown together in no time. Just a quick statement summary, some causal factors and the end result. I'll try and update the list if I have any repressed memories come to the fore in the next couple of days!
Jono's List of Creative Ways to Loose Skin and Maybe Get a Day Off School
1) Young tacker, sprinting against mate on bike path, back wheel slips of the edge of the path and slides out. I eat dirt. More memorably, friends mum bandages me up with elastoplast, 2 hours later the red pussy blisters under the bandage reveal a latex allergy!
2) MTBing with old man, loose front wheel in some mud and slip out, old man proceeds to run up my ****. Thanks dad.
3) Exploring 'cliff' trails round yarra bend/studley park, **** myself on one section and end up falling off the edge clinging to shrubs to keep myself outta the yarra! Friend struggles to come to my aid as he is busy not wetting his pants with laughter. What are mates for...
4) Ride too fast round off-camber, greasy and wet corner near home, that I knew was off-camber, greasy and wet. Good bye left hip skin.
5) Racing down a silly hill in a crazy bunch in a juniors race in Italy. We hit a dark tunnel, pitch black wearing sunnies, going very fast, nerves high, fingering brakes in anticpation. What was I anticipating? Well, I thought maybe, just maybe, there was a good chance I migh.. BANG CRASH BANG SCREAM SCREECH CLATTER SCRAPE. I ram straight into the guy from behind. Mass pile up ensues. 45 degree handlebars for the last 1 hour of the stage, sore back!
Numbers 6+ to come in the next instalment of "Don't ride on Jono's wheel!"
I loooove cycling
EDIT- Does anyone else find it hilarious Google Ads are now pushing first aid kits?!