Sunday, October 11, 2009

Holy %@*#!%^ #$"^ !!

Is a rough translation of what I said after nearly getting completely cleaned up by some random dude on a jumps bike yesterday.

Picture this, I was on the Eastern Freeway bikepath, I'd just crossed Bulleen Rd and was heading in towards the city when I noticed something in the corner of my eye flying down the dirt track that runs on the right of the path. This guy was moving fast! Dangerously fast! The moment of curiosity went from,

"Hmm geez he's smokin!" to,

"Oh sweet merciful crap!"

When I realised he was about to hit the banking below the bikepath on my right and fly up onto the section of path where I was going to be in about 0.5 seconds.

"OH @#)$#%)@%)"

At the last minute, he sees me and changes his line just enough, and I head left as much as the path allows, and at around 40kph one of the tiny spikes on his flat metal pedals just so lightly graze my right knee. That was nearly the collision to end all collisions.

I came within a split second of a crushed patella at best, a completely trashed frame and most likely a pelvis/hip/femur fracture or three at worst.

That was close. Heart rate check anyone?

I let loose with a torrent of abuse and McKenzie who was hot on my tail was currently displaying shock at the fact that,

1) We were both still alive, and,

2) This idiot could do something so reckless! If he misjudged it slightly, even with a clear path, he could have easily ended up eating some metal fence.

The idiot came and apologised and karma was restored all round.

So my list (you know I love a list...) of "Things to avoid while on the bike path" has a new leader;

1)Nutcase Jumps MTBers
3)Ipod Dawdlers
4)Other cyclists
5)Little kids
6)The entire Eastlink bikepath on a wet day (ie, the wooden bridges of death; they are slipperier than Silvio Berlusconi and more painful that Hey Hey it's Saturday)

So what's the moral of the story?

Bikepaths are dangerous. Roads are dangerous. Cycling in general can be considered very dangerous! But shit it's fun! (And much less dangerous than the couch)

Over and out.

1 comment: