Tuesday, December 29, 2009


Well I am about to go out of 2009 the same way I came in; injured. Despite all the time stuck inside going a wee bit insane I know I'll enter 2010 a lot stronger. Now don't worry, I'm not about to get all inspirational and start blaring chariots of fire,

What keeps me excited for next year is summed up in this press release,

Yep, next year I'll get to trapse the globe with a new bike, new mates and a new outlook chasing new adventures and hopefully having a whole heap of fun.

The hardest thing about it is that I am still a couple of weeks away from riding and possibly another month from really riding hard. So I need to hold back even though I am ready to grab a bmx and ride to Baw Baw and back, seriously I am getting restless.

Bye for now, hope everyone ate themselves into a coma on Christmas day and I'll see you all in the new year for some training and a bunch of failed resolutions!

Last minute Edit!
Here's a nice write up on our team bikes for next season, the Museeuw MF 1

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Procrastinatory Posting

Not much juicy information or gruesome photos to add yet, sorry!

Just been very busy cramming in a semester of work into two weeks of study.

I have two exams in the next 5 days so I have not had much time to keep the blog rolling.

Bottom line thus far,
Time since crash: 4 weeks
Time spent in cast: 2 weeks
Time in moon boot: 2 weeks
Time left in moon boot: 2 weeks
Time till I ride again: Don't ask (3+ weeks)
Number of fantastic Thai meals: 2
Number of visits to Dumpling King: 1 (not nearly enough)
Number of  APTE Mega Cookies eaten: 1 (a whole blog post to come on these little beauties)
Number of sympathetic relatives who have baked me some tasty goods: 2
Hows the fractured pelvis: Good nearly 100%
Hows the face: Great! I'll get some photo's loaded after my exams
Where to from here: Get in the gym, do some easy stuff; pretty much anything to keep me occupied and start some SLAM pedalling soon (more to come on that!)

So I am bored, frustrated, but no time to fret, I have some exams to pass!



Thursday, December 3, 2009

Self Indulgence

Just popping up a link to an interview I did with Hawthorn "Master of the Universe"  Stu Vaughan

a while back about all sorts of random facts. Not heaps to it other than a good long video of me, talking all about, well...me. But I guess that's why people blog isn't it?


And according to Scott I am a young man full of courage. I am not going to lie that is pretty humbling, but I'd prefer to be a coward who never crashed!

Back to some thrilling econometrics work for the time being

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

A Post About Nothing

Sorry, no decent content here.

Have I spent a lot of time on the computer lately? ahhhh yup.


Monday, November 30, 2009

The Epilogue

Touch Down.

In Melbourne, hello shocked parents, hello coffee machine, hello internet.

Hello sanity, normality and recovery. But no time to rest now, half clean wounds, fresh fractures and a gooey gashed faced all lead my parents and I to say hello again to hospital.

Hello Epworth. Helloooooooo nurse! Did I mention the nurse was a chubby hairy ocker bloke named Bill? Well scoff all you want, but he knew how to sponge bath juuuuust right.

So another 3 days were taken from my busy schedule of do nothing so that I could now do nothing while getting loaded with vain stingingly vicious intra-venous antibiotics and have my armada of helpers ferry my coffees from Hudsons on the ground floor.

Life was good. Friends, family, internet fame and some wicked scars.

Stitches came out from the face (all 57 of them!?&$%%##$) and the leg, bruising came down and I even began to hobble around (on my left leg with the fractured pelvis!) with a walking frame.

Once I got home the ordeal was definitely over and it really was time to recover and start organising next year.

In a minor milestone I had my first shower in just under two weeks yesterday, it was unbelievable. I don't want to get too emotional and reflective but is good for life to bowl you a beam ball every now, just to help you appreciated all the things you took for granted.

So that's that, everything is healing nicely and for the first time since I went to France 4 years ago I've gone two whole weeks without riding a bike.

There is a wave of my 'crash photo porn' sweeping the web on all sorts of blogs and sites. So to Fyxo, TFM/Celtic, Goldie's Blog, various facebook and twitter accounts, various email groups and forums and anyone I've missed, thanks for having a read, my 15 minutes of fame has been fun fun fun, but now I really, really have to start studying for my exams! aaahhhhh dam.

Ciao, for now....

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Rats Under the Bed, Red Tape Overhead

The first part of my brief stay in the Hospital is sunny Sanya was no problem. It was all shits and giggles. The team were visiting me, team Directeur Sportif Patrick Jonker had a constant supply of McDonalds coming, team physio Scott even spent the first night keeping me company and dosing me with painkillers and Dicko (aka Will Dickenson) had loaned me his laptop so I had about 4 days of music to keep me sane in this most insane of situations.

But like any bizarre moment suspended from all time and reality and no matter how far from any semblance of normal life you appear to be; whoever it is in charge upstairs in life slaps you across the face with a big reality check and says

“Hey ****head, you’re in a foreign country with lots of injuries, possibly some brewing infections given you are covered in dirty scabs and scars, you are in no state to fly but the rest of your mates are leaving for the wonderful land of Oz tomorrow, if you don’t get on that flight you are so far up shit creek you can probably see Werribee”

Oh, yeh. Bugger. I crashed on Wednesday, it was now midday Thursday and my flight left at 5 pm Friday. I could not bear any weight on my legs, I could just sit myself upright in bed. I needed painkillers and a miracle.

I received a visit from the Chinese representative of the broker for the Cycling Australia travel/health/crash insurance. His plan: stay in Sanya for 3 more days, then fly to Hong Kong then stay till you are good to go back to Melbourne. That sounded plausible, except what would I do with my 2 bags and bike box? Good luck lugging those around in a wheelchair!

So after a quick consultation with my dad over the phone we decided (or maybe I stated it in a blunt manner with the addition of a few choice adjectives) we had to do everything possible to get me on the team flight. My dad had already spoken to the Australian representative for the insurance company and the plans were coming together. The major red tape barriers we struck were

1) The Doctor had to give me clearance to leave; he planned on visiting me on Friday morning which according to the hospitals regular procedure would not allow me to get on a flight the same afternoon. No reason why, just the way things were done.
That’s not good.

2) The hospital would only clear me to leave once they had been paid, in cash. For the insurance to get the money into my account and for me to get someone to withdraw it would take days.
Now that’s really not good

3) For clearance to be given I needed to upgrade my flight to business class which was mighty costly. The airline would also only accept cash. The insurance company would pay, but they could not get my money to freedom quick enough.
OK I’m screwed.

4) I needed the doctor to find me some anti-DVT injections to prevent blood clots while I was on the flight.
I’m not going anywhere am I?

5) Even if all of the above was negotiated the airline still reserved the right to not let me on the plane if they deemed me unfit to fly.
Yep I’m officially rooted.

I was amazingly, incredibly and fantastically fortunate to have my Dad in Australia hassling the insurance company non stop, and Savings and Loans team representatives Steve and Michelle Cunningham in Sanya hassling the hospital, airline and the insurance company. I guess if you make enough noise, hassle enough people, and do it with just the right amount of politeness, you can get stuff done, real quick, and in my case, against all odds.

We bypassed a minor bureaucratic hurdle when the insurance rep in Australia explained to my dad that the Chinese representative who came to visit me initially wanted me to go to Hong Kong because then they would use a certain medi-vac company who he would get extra remuneration from. So it wasn’t so much what he thought was best for me, more so what would net him the best Christmas bonus. I happily nodded but politely declined to follow his course of actions when he visited me on Friday morning.

Come Friday midday the stars had aligned, I was heading home. Steve and Michelle had got their mitts on the $7000 US cash prize pool that had been paid out to Savings and Loans and where throwing money every which way to get me home!

Business class upgrade? Tick
Hospital bill? Tick
DVT Shots? Tick
McDonald’s large chicken fillet burger meal? Big Tick

The two barriers remaining were finding an ambulance to transport me to the airport and once there convincing the airport I was OK to fly. The Australian insurance rep came to the for and made sure that there was an ambulance to get me to the airport, step one done. Then, thanks to some wheeling and dealing, the Chinese doctor who we were consulting allowed us to write up a letter of travel recommendation reading along the lines of:

“According to my medical expertise Jonathan is in a fit state to travel etc” and translated it across to Chinese as best he could for us to present to the airline.

So that was it, add in a good 30 minutes arguing with Chinese airport workers and I was in the clear.

For the following 20 hours I was wheeled, carried, lifted, and flown from good ol Sanya on the Island of Hainan back to Guangzhou in mainland China and onwards to Melbourne Australia.

Home sweet –English speaking, slightly less bureaucratic and slightly more medically competent- home.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Pedal Pedal Thump

What actually happened to cause me to crash so badly?
What caused such a fine array of injuries?
What sparked the exponential augmentation of grey hairs on my dad’s head?

Well, the short story; I crashed into a big arse rocky ditch. Go fast, hit hard, smash smash, ouch ouch, life sucks, oh well deal with it.

Battered, bruised, broken and beaten by the impact and sudden loss of momentum my left pelvis suffered a few fractures, the tendons in my right shin were neatly sliced in two, my left shoulder got a good knock n’ bruise and my face got the grating of a life time.

The frustrating factor with this crash is that it was merely the result of appalling dire and patently unfair luck, but hey, shit happens right? As I was descending the final hill during stage 8 of the Tour of Hainan I swung full speed (60kph? 70kph? Who knows…but it was quick) into a left hand bend, just as I came to overtake a rider on the inside of the corner his rear tyre blew out and he came off his line. From the apex of the turn he basically straight lined it to the gutter leaving me time to otherwise collide with him, or, fate chance and head for the gutter. Bad move. In hindsight, the four foot deep ditch, full of all things dangerous to a vertebrate with velocity, was a bad choice. Joel Pearson who was on my wheel just feathered the brakes enough to avoid the two of us and has recounted to me that I had no choice but to end up in the gutter. The causer of the crash ended up in the gutter too, so maybe it was fate. I was told by someone else that even Lance Armstrong couldn’t have gotten out of that one, destiny indeed.

Now, hands up, who remembers those big nasty gutters from the Beijing Olympics? Yep, well this one, same deal. Yeh, you’re right, it hurt. The ditch was so deep all the team cars drove past me and didn’t even notice I was in there! Cyclingnews photographer Mark Gunter was the first to notice me and came to the rescue. First up he came too my aid after I pleaded to him for a bottle of water. Funnily enough when he gave me the water all I wanted was more water (having not drunk any)! At this point he realised I was delirious. My personal memory runs to the point where I leave the road thinking “Oh crap!” to waking up in the ambulance some time later. The photos Mark took of me once the ambulance arrived show me sitting staring, looking around, but I have no recollection of that period in time.

The next step in the saga was the hospital. It was there that I realised the worst of my injuries and that I was in for Chinese surgery. Now, I had no idea about the Chinese medical system, good, bad or indifferent, who knew? It was simply the fear of the unknown that worried me. Bottom line, the Chinese surgeon did a great job. My tendons got stapled together and I was loaded with stitches.

Hours later and with a concussed and caffeine deprived achey breakey head I awoke to my room for the next two days. Rock hard mattress, dirty walls, and a weird climate that was not warm yet I found myself covered in tepid sticky sweat. Compounded with multiple visits from nurses that looked surprised to see this weird multi tan lined 6 foot white boy yet never too taken aback to continue prodding me with needles and antibiotic IV drips, it was fair to say I was out of my comfort zone.

The reality of it is however, that when in such a groggy state, you don’t care, you just roll around, sleep a bit, moan a bit, do whatever, just try to occupy your mind for a while and hope it will all come to an end soon.

The next chapter in the saga came in the form of the Airline, Hospital and Insurance drama which will be posted up within the next day or two.

Safe riding,


Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Gross Ghastly Gore, this will make your eyes sore.

Warning guys, you are about to see some pretty gross photos. They are a little juicy but hey, I love pictures that tell the true story so here it goes

Sitting in the ditch, no memory of this point in time. Check the gash on my left cheek! Geez, bit dirty!

Clean cut to my right shin, rock on.

Sweet memories of a fun trip with a rough finish. I learnt a lot in two weeks, most importantly to enjoy the good times while you can; who knows when you are going to career off a road into a rocky ditch at 70 Kph? Exactly, no one knows, it could happen to you!

But seriously, I got some time off now and some study to start, it never stops!

Have a good one.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Scar Face

Still twiddling my thumbs at the Epworth. For the time been, check the crazy number of silken stitches I ended up with in my face..solid job there. They  took a long time to take out yesterday, was truly a great way to pad out the afternoon and bring the weekend to a close.

And now to peek at my right shin. Basically the tendons here got severed agaisnt the jagged rock face I hit. So the Chinese surgeon stapled the tendons back together then stapled up my leg like so. Some big nasty stitches there!

And spot the dirt and mould  on the roof above me, this is the view from my Hainan hospital bed. Fortunately I was not able to snap photos of the rat under my bed.

I've got loads to write up about the actual tour and about the political drama of getting from the Chinese Hospital to the airport and on the plane! The last 5 days have been draining like no other 5 days of my life!

Quick outlook on the recovery is looking like the broken hip will heal fine on it's own with a few weeks rest and the tendons on my right leg need a similar recovery time.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

I'm Alive!

It's Been a pretty hectic fortnight.

I've got loads of stories, photos and lovely insights from the biggest and fiercest race I've ever started in, plus a whole swag of drama covering my crash and life in a chinese hospital. Be back with the juicy info soon, for the moment there are more pressing issues!


Sunday, November 8, 2009

Off to Hainan!

Be back soon!

Will try and blog it up in my spare time.

Now I need to get my pack on.



Tuesday, November 3, 2009


Tony Crino and John Dam are two of the nicest guys you will ever meet in the Melbourne cycling scene.

Out on the boulie yesterday I snapped a derailleur cable and on the recommendation of C-Mckenzie I went and checked out Crino Cycles in Carlton. Tony jumped straight over and helped me out, started fiddling around and got the frayed bits of cable out of the lever and housing. Thank god! That would have taken me hours! After whacking in a new cable Tony was talking about bringing my back so he can check over it completely, all the while I had a good chat with John about old bike racing stories. Great! I even got offered a coffee but I had to politely decline, aiming to keep the shot count at 4 for the day.

So if you live in the general vicinity I say get over and check this place out. You'll get great service from two guys who seem to go above and beyond the call of duty.

On a side note what an awesome day it was at Kinglake today, cyclists everywhere, even passed a recumbent going up Wild Dog.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Crash Bandicoot Part 2

Some more good'uns to add to my list I started compiling yesterday. Ah the memories, or lack thereof...

6) Tour of Tassie 2007. Coming fast (45-50k) down a hill then hit a little flat section, dog runs out from a driveway to my right, guy in front hits the dog, I hit him/dog. Fly into ditch. Knocked out. Convulse, jerk around then just flop dead still (or so I'm told), then just wake up like nothing happened. 3 days in Burnie hospital as punishment for being in the 2nd group on the road! Left hip skin once again appears to be missing. Helmet pancaked.

7) Tour of Murray, massive winds and wet road. Race is getting thrown in the gutter, I am looking to move to my right into the working line and get a sit, gap appears to be open, I start moving, someone from behind me wants the gap too, big gust of wind, handlebars lock, BANG, down we go. Hip and butt skin gone gone gone. Next 100k of racing take around 3.5 hours, epic headwind. Very lonely day! Notice in the shower apparent lack of left hip skin.

8) Some muppet crashes in front at Sandown, I go left to avoid it and he just about side rolls under my front wheel. Then Crowie runs me over. Broken collarbone and frame. Thems the breaks.

9) Tour of Thailand. Sitting 3rd GC, team meeting emphasises staying up the front and avoiding the crashes. 2nd corner, hook handlebars and bam. Down I go. Left Hip skin gone once more, quietly pleased with expert knowledge at treating disappearance of hip skin.

10) Tour of Gippsland, 4 laps to go, final crit, getting hectic. Getting Laangers to the front for the sprint, bunch gets squeezed, I hit a gap that disapears too quickly. Bars hooked, down we go. Broken helmet, hip skin gone (yes the left one), shoulder skin gone, knee skin gone, lots o' bruising and 2 fractured bones in my pelvis

Off for a trundle now!

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Crash Bandicoot

Well, while having a laugh and thinking about all my crash memories, I thought, heck, this would make a great blog post. It's rough, raw, poorly edited and thrown together in no time. Just a quick statement summary, some causal factors and the end result. I'll try and update the list if I have any repressed memories come to the fore in the next couple of days!

Jono's List of Creative Ways to Loose Skin and Maybe Get a Day Off School
1) Young tacker, sprinting against mate on bike path, back wheel slips of the edge of the path and slides out. I eat dirt. More memorably, friends mum bandages me up with elastoplast, 2 hours later the red pussy blisters under the bandage reveal a latex allergy!

2) MTBing with old man, loose front wheel in some mud and slip out, old man proceeds to run up my ****. Thanks dad.

3) Exploring 'cliff' trails round yarra bend/studley park, **** myself on one section and end up falling off the edge clinging to shrubs to keep myself outta the yarra! Friend struggles to come to my aid as he is busy not wetting his pants with laughter. What are mates for...

4) Ride too fast round off-camber, greasy and wet corner near home, that I knew was off-camber, greasy and wet. Good bye left hip skin.

5) Racing down a silly hill in a crazy bunch in a juniors race in Italy. We hit a dark tunnel, pitch black wearing sunnies, going very fast, nerves high, fingering brakes in anticpation. What was I anticipating? Well, I thought maybe, just maybe, there was a good chance I migh.. BANG CRASH BANG SCREAM SCREECH CLATTER SCRAPE. I ram straight into the guy from behind. Mass pile up ensues. 45 degree handlebars for the last 1 hour of the stage, sore back!

Numbers 6+ to come in the next instalment of "Don't ride on Jono's wheel!"

I loooove cycling

EDIT- Does anyone else find it hilarious Google Ads are now pushing first aid kits?!

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Windy Warnambool

Well I had a good race.

I didn't even finish with the front group, but it was good, no, great! Why so good? Because I had fun, lot's of it. Wind, gutter, attacks, basically things that make racing hard and things that make racing great. At the risk of sounding like a cheesy sentimentalist, it's all about having fun isn't it? (Stop rolling your eyes dammit!). Everyone has gotta ask, if you're not doing it for the joy, then why are you doing it? (No seriously stop it!)

The last couple of months have not been the most enjoyable I've experienced on the bike, so to just cut loose and race hard was fantastic. Before everyone gets all excited, no, I am not talking about the Warny! Just the Shipwreck Coast Classic that was on the Sunday following the Warny.

This week has been a busy one, organising cycling next year, organising uni next year, just getting stuff sorted. Riding, gyming, stretching and swimming and all the fun in between, and on this Saturday in particular, enjoying some HEAT!

Had some more fun on my TT bike this morning ripping up and down beach road just loving the sun, the other cyclists and of course the coffee.

On an unfortunate note, David Rafferton had a bad stack at the first Hawthorn Crit on Wednesday evening. At current it sounds like no broken bones but some possible nerve damage plus bruising and a whole lot of discomfort.

For those of you who don't know David (aka Vidman), he first started cycling at around a weight of 150KG. Over the last 2 or so years his weight has plunged to the low 90s and his fitness has sky-rocketed. So much has he impressed me what with his penchant for pain and his obvious lust for a challenge that a few months ago I said two little words to him; "Baw Baw". But not just climb Baw Baw, complete the whole 100k Baw Baw Classic Road Race.Straight away the fire in his not so large belly stoked up. I was starting to get pretty concerned, because he promised me, if he made it to the top, he was going to punch me in the arm, hard. Now I am still concerned, because for all I know, he'll recover from his stack and smash Baw Baw anyway. BUT, I hereby grant a 12 month extension on the Baw Baw Challenge Vidman ;-) You'll be back, plenty of time! Best wishes for the recovery.

Lunch Time!

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Worth a Laugh


Good ol' stuck in a car conservative rant about bikes in the media. Yawn.

Getting a bit tired of these, but one bit made me chuckle

"How aggressive do you have to be at 5am, anyway? You never hear of rowers, joggers, swimmers, yoga artists or other dawn fitness devotees attacking people."

The award for drawing the worst analogy, possibly in the history of time, goes to Ms Devine. I've seen people stumble into a University Arts class after 'a few too many' at the lunch time barbeque and trot out better debate and prose than this 'article' written by Ms Devine.

Blabbering over, back to that comment; Why don't we rephrase it;

"How many rowers, joggers, swimmers or yoga artists have to contend with motor traffic every day (including 15 tonne buses!)?" Still struggling to answer that aren't we Miranda?

Next time someone decides to row their way to work down Punt Rd, I'm tipping they may just get a little hot under the collar.

Nothing like having your life threatened by someone else's incompetence to fire you up!

Anyway, all fun and games. No point dwelling too long on pieces designed to bait hot-headed comments and drag up the Ages advertising revenue.

Got a report from the Shipwreck Coast Classic in the pipeline.

Morning all!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Just a Quickie

Spring has maybe, finally, properly sprung. (touchwood!)

You know what is hard? That first ride in some semblance of summery weather. Pete B and I went out to the nongs on Tuesday in the 'heat' of the mid twenties, boy oh boy I was buckled by the time I got home!

Been riding and gyming and doing the true Uni thing and leaving my assignments up to the very last minute to get started. But I work well under pressure, I think.

I'm also very excited to be getting back on the TT bike tomorrow. 3 months or so till nationals means it's time to start getting comfy in what is really an uncomfy kinda position. Thanks to the constructive advice from someone who will remain nameless (OK it was Sherwin!)I am more motivated than ever to have a good TT and RR at nationals.

Good luck to all the nutters racing the Warnie on Saturday. So much prestige but oh so much pain. Hope everyone is nice and tired the next day for the shipwreck coast classic!!

My birthday tomorrow, get excited people.


PS-Proper punctuation is over-rated and proof reading is for those who have no faith in getting things right the first time round. IE I'm tired, lazy and pressed for time ;-)

Monday, October 19, 2009

First Race back

Was fun. Nice course, nice competitors nice racing.

Our A grade race at Lang Lang was 2 laps of a big undulating circuit around Gippsland totalling 146 k. We rolled turns for the first lap just cruising, took a 'pisso' (aka toilet stop) at the end of the first lap then rolled turn again till we hit the hills and pretty much raced the last 40-50k or so pretty hard.

Needless to say my form was not great, but no excuses the other guys out there; Rowan, Leaper, Kane, Stuart and a few others were strong and aggressive so the racing was fun. No negative messing around, it is only a club race after all. Eventually some guys got up the road and that was it for me. Rolled in the last 10 k with not much to report on for my race. Sorry guys, interesting stories will be on hand once I make it to China in a few weeks!

Had a good time at Lygon on Saturday. Snuck my way into the VIP tent and enjoyed the fruits of success, a small bottle of sparkling mineral water and some gourmet party pies. "Yes!", I thought, "I have arrived!"

The race was a mild snooze fest thanks to the strength of Garmin, I had more interest looking at all the bits and pieces for sale that I don't need but boy do I want!

Big weekend coming up with my birthday on Friday (goodbye teens!) and the Shipwreck Coast classic on Sunday. I had been looking forward to doing the Warny (on the saturday) all year, however, I am just not up to scratch. I want to go there to race, not get pummelled and risk any further injury, so next year it is!


Wednesday, October 14, 2009

6 Doughnuts Thanks

I had my very own "5 Cougars thanks" moment mid ride at the Basin Bakery today. Don't read too much into it though, by no means did my Cougar moment have anything to do with the generous physical attributes of the lady serving me. No, in fact it was more of a Hungry Jacks "Stunner" moment, hunger combined with the abhorrently cheap 6 iced doughnuts for $3.50 had me well, stunned. Soon after the doughnuts had me stunned and struggling to pedal, my body facing the tough choice between digestion and oxygen supply. Don't fret though guys, I made it home, slowly.

It was wet today too, that nice soaking rainforest Dandenongs kind of wet. It doesn't appear to actually be raining, it's more like there is inescapable constant moisture suspended in the air and I am riding through taking a collection as I go. It was cold too, AND windy!

But rather than talk about how tough I am (trust me, really, I'm not...) I'd prefer to take some joy that I am not racing the Sun Tour. Those guys have it rough this year! Last year there was about 10k total of serious gutter action and pretty much Sun (who would have thought!) all tour. This year looks bad, bad and oh so bad. Nothing but rain and broken collarbones! Hope everyone who went down recovers quickly. Thoughts also go out to Andrew Garnham the race doctor, he will certainly have his work cut out for him!

Lang Lang this Sunday. Yeha.

Bye for now.

Actually wait! It seems in my sugary euphoric ramblings I managed to neglect that I also had a chocolate croissant. At the oh so stunning value of $1.70. Bakeries really are friends of cyclists and students. Good thing I'm both, otherwise you lot might call me stingey...

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Holy %@*#!%^ #$"^ !!

Is a rough translation of what I said after nearly getting completely cleaned up by some random dude on a jumps bike yesterday.

Picture this, I was on the Eastern Freeway bikepath, I'd just crossed Bulleen Rd and was heading in towards the city when I noticed something in the corner of my eye flying down the dirt track that runs on the right of the path. This guy was moving fast! Dangerously fast! The moment of curiosity went from,

"Hmm geez he's smokin!" to,

"Oh sweet merciful crap!"

When I realised he was about to hit the banking below the bikepath on my right and fly up onto the section of path where I was going to be in about 0.5 seconds.

"OH @#)$#%)@%)"

At the last minute, he sees me and changes his line just enough, and I head left as much as the path allows, and at around 40kph one of the tiny spikes on his flat metal pedals just so lightly graze my right knee. That was nearly the collision to end all collisions.

I came within a split second of a crushed patella at best, a completely trashed frame and most likely a pelvis/hip/femur fracture or three at worst.

That was close. Heart rate check anyone?

I let loose with a torrent of abuse and McKenzie who was hot on my tail was currently displaying shock at the fact that,

1) We were both still alive, and,

2) This idiot could do something so reckless! If he misjudged it slightly, even with a clear path, he could have easily ended up eating some metal fence.

The idiot came and apologised and karma was restored all round.

So my list (you know I love a list...) of "Things to avoid while on the bike path" has a new leader;

1)Nutcase Jumps MTBers
3)Ipod Dawdlers
4)Other cyclists
5)Little kids
6)The entire Eastlink bikepath on a wet day (ie, the wooden bridges of death; they are slipperier than Silvio Berlusconi and more painful that Hey Hey it's Saturday)

So what's the moral of the story?

Bikepaths are dangerous. Roads are dangerous. Cycling in general can be considered very dangerous! But shit it's fun! (And much less dangerous than the couch)

Over and out.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Lang Lang

Next weekend!

First race in a while and I am already looking forward to it! Will have to tone down the post Herald Sun Tour celebrations with the lads (yes even though I am not racing!) my 'form' has rapidly declined since schoolies '07 and I am now depressingly intolerant to alcoholic beverages!

But rambling aside,the 2009 Damian McDonald Memorial Road Race, Lang Lang, Victoria. is on next weekend and although that weekend is congested enough with Suntour crits, club champ races plus some little jaunt round the bay just to name a few massive cycling events, I have my fingers and other extremities crossed for a good turn out at Lang Lang. I have only raced the circuit once and from memory it's beautiful, green, hilly and all round conducive to some hard racing.

I would love to relax now with an arvo nap but I am still fueled from a mega session at Padre so will have to procrastinate the day away. This should help

Ciao folks. Have a good weekend of riding.

Back in the Swing

Well the last month or so has been up and down to say the least.

Back into training, back out of training, feeling great finally then feeling crap again the next day. No matter the circumstance, never underestimate a fractured pelvis, like all good things it has taken time. I am, touch wood, confident that I am starting to trend upward with no downturns in the near future (unless I throw myself on the road again).

The last month was a big rush to get ready to race the Herald Sun Tour and the Warnie, but last week I made the call to miss both, I was really not up to shape and most likely to animate the laughing bunch at best.

So now I am looking forward to racing the Tour of Hainan in early November. Now this race is big, real big. And it's long, real long. It's a 2.HC ranking, so on par with Suntour, but this one goes for 9 days and around 1450k. I predict there will be a lot of rice, noodles, bad coffee and serious time in the hurt box. I'll be heading over there to race as a stagiare with the Savings and Loans Cycling team which is great news. I was very fortunate to have some people working behind the scenes to get me some big racing opportunities after missing the entire Australian Season bar Gippsland. The Parcours for Hainan is looking like a good mix; some pancake action to start off the first few stages then the hills rear up and the real action begins. Got to avoid my habit of last day crashes given the final stage is a city circuit race, stay up the front, stay up the front, stay up the... easier said than done; everyone wants to stay up the front!

Coffee time folks.

PS- Random food note for the day. Everyone MUST go here. Mixed Kilo, $18, it was meant to be.

Random training note, great day yesterday out at Kinglake, spied Braunie D getting in some berg action, and the smell of doughnuts at Hurstbridge, combined with rapidly declining blood sugar levels make for a desperate TT effort to reach the bakery before hypoglycemia kicks in. Go on try it, see if you can outrun your own biological functions, it can only result in

1)The best doughnut you have ever had, or more likely,

2) The worst hunger flat you have ever had, combined with a rising urge to throttle whoever suggested this silliness...

OK, now it's coffee time.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009


A picture tells a thousand words.

The Sherwinator is back in classic style; loud, vocal, opinionated, hilarious.

You've been warned.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Get Lost

This Saturday just past saw three brave cyclists (Grover, McKenzie and Lovelock) venture into the unknown pastures in Melbourne's far outer suburbs.

Departure: 1100 hours
Objective: Get Lost
Target: Unknown areas skirting Warrandyte-Ringwood Road

We have some regular roads that are well off 'the beaten track', they snake through Eltham, Research, Warrandyte, Park Orchards, Wonga Park and the surrounding areas. A bit of bike path here, a few gravel sections there, basically; it ain't beach road. No traffic lights, minimal cars, maximal enjoyment.

Well, we decided to take it out a bit further, Croydon, Croydon Hills, Warranwood (Warren where??) all made it onto the itinerary. Basically, if we saw a road that we hadn't ridden down before, we had to ride down it. Easy, and deceptively fun. Using a bit of intuition we managed to loop up some new roads and get nearly 2 hours of fun riding all bar a short 500 metre stretch on the Maroondah Highway.

The real fun came not from bombing up gravel paths, sprinting up 20% hills, being graphically embarrassed or ravaging the Warrandyte bakery; no the real fun was simply riding on roads we had not ridden before.

Beach road, Dandenongs and Kinglake have been done to death for me. Old adages never lie, variety is indeed the spice of life, and my new found playground of roads will surely spice up the training as I ramp it up over the next few weeks.

So go on, get lost the lot of you.

It's fun*.

*JONATHAN LOVELOCK @ BLOGSPOT hereby accepts no responsibility for any cyclists who suffer dehydration, starvation, mugging, maiming, or any other injury/disease/unfortunate occurrence as a result of being displaced in an unknown area. The recommendations given above are in no way representative of the VIS, Bouwmeester or anyone associated with Jonathan. Jonathan recommends you speak to Tim Holding for sound advice on venturing into unknown areas.

Friday, September 25, 2009

A Wet Tale

So our last day at Bright resulted in just the tiniest bit of rain catching up with us. Never mind, it was very minimal. On the other hand, the headwind on the way to Beechworth was not so minimal, but logic and experience told us that the tailwind home would be maximal, and it certainly was.

Now I am completely rooted. Buggered. Stuffed. Screwed. Me and my bed are getting well acquainted after some time apart and it's great. My to do list is growing but the energy required to do anything is just not with me today

So now I am looking forward to some hard training with a possible Sun Tour ride on the cards and the Warnie looming dangerously towards the end of October.

Other interesting news is the Jayco-VIS team for Tour of Tasmania has been boosted by some serious imports; Matt Wilson and Dave Tanner! I wish I was racing now!

And of course, Bobridge; what an amazing ride. Can't say much more than that

Bye for now.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

The hunt for Internet

Is finally over.

The brewery now has beer, coffee AND a wireless connection, I may never leave. As we speak, Langers and I are involved in a heavy couch, net and coffee session and only the most necessary biological functions (food, water, toilet) are capable of breaking the trance. Twitter, facebook, blogs, cyclingnews, and so on and so forth. Very important business is being tended too.

The training has been good and somehow we have avoided rain for the whole week! I am even getting in some base tan training for summer. Bonus.

The camp for me has consisted of

Sat-Oxley to Mansfield
Sun- Mansfield to Oxley, then into Wangaratta
Mon-Happy Valley (Gaps loop)
Tue-Falls Creek

So not doing mega days, just stringing together a decent block to get me back up to speed.

-Riding from Oxley to Mansfield, leaving at 4pm, hence riding the last hour of the fast and twisting descent into Mansfield in pitch black with a broken rear light and a pathetic front light. No really it was fun! Not in a "I might die but at least I'll do so in the idiotic irresponsible manner I always thought I would" kinda way, but in more of a "Well when they said mixing up your training was key to avoiding stagnation I bet that they didn't mean dark, cold, wet alpine descents with kangaroos running across thee road, geez I'm pretty hardcore (read: stupid)" kinda way.
-Urine samples for hydration testing, what? Am I really that dehydrated?!?!
-Bath Rasi with calamari, shrimp, chicken, beef and a fried egg at the Alpine Hotel
-Jasper coffee now at the brewery
-Aforementioned FREE wireless
-Good hills

-Pat Lane breaking his collarbone in the High Country Road race
-Freezing Hotham Descent
-Still one more day of training to go! Argghh I'm getting tired now.
-Magpies. Not just any mapgies, these magpies are like left (and right) wing extremist magpies. Fearsome, malicious (much like tall Jan) Magpies. I hate them. I hate them all. My neck is sore from riding, looking over my shoulder, constantly waiting for the squawk and CRACK!

So one more day to go then it's home to carry out the uni holidays in style.


PS- For those in the know, I read a funny quote written on the road while going up the Meg on Hotham Today:

"ULN-For the People"

Heck Yes. Clyde Time!

Friday, September 18, 2009

So 3 posts in one day might be a record, but,

Do up your skewers!

I was just searching through my old flickr site and came across this old photo of Tim Guy's Teschner.. ouch!

The mystery still remains to this day; we had done a bumpy, rough 12k descent, and like young foolish cyclists we absolutely flew down it! Then later on in the day Tim's wheel pops out on a straight smooth descent, the skewer was done up beforehand, mystery.

Foot in Mouth

Well, we have all heard about that smarmy chubby chef from Englang laughing it up over running a few blokes on bikes off the road have we not?

I have to share this response from another British sports editor

Brilliant, so well said.

With egg on his face and his tail between his legs Mr Martin is trying to save face while copping it from all sides!

Anyway, don't got looking for fights out on the road, go riding, eat food, do whatever, save your energy for things other than arguing.

Off to Bright, soon!

Always look on the Bright side of life

Time to pack up and head off for a nice stint up in the hills.

Uni holidays are on and it's time to catch up on some fitness I lost in my time off. Fingers crossed for some crisp mornings and warm sunny arvo's. Here is the trip checklist

1) Fish and Chips at the pub
2) Watch the footy at the pub
3) Play some pool at the pub
4) Drop vast amounts of money at Food Wine and Friends, the coffee haunt.
5) Do some serious climbing
6) Do some serious eating
7) Suffer in the inevitable wind and rain on our Beechworth Day
8) Get Fit
9) Try not to fracture pelvis

Can't wait!

And in more Bright/Cycling related news, I entered the Alpine Classic 250k last night; Bright, Hotham, Omeo, Falls Creek, Bright. Going to be a tough ride (Well der!). The Alpine classic weekend often gets a bad rep among 'elite' cyclists as a a weekend to steer clear from; fluoro vests, oversized saddle bags and highly upturned stems give us PRO (To steal a term from Wade) roadies nightmares for weeks afterwards. But seriously, I say let Participation Oriented Audaxers, and the Testosterised Road Nazis join together, just for this weekend. Two wheels good, four wheels bad, yeh? Diatribe aside, I've been in Bright for the past two Audax weekends and had a blast, so I recommend it to anyone.

To everyone who reads this (Hi mum!), go on, enter the 250 6:19 departure, let's get a good group going, last one to finish shouts beers at the brewery. Incentive enough, because there will be some thirsty cyclists.

I will give some more updates from Bright because once we finish our rides, there ain't a whole lot to do!


Sunday, September 13, 2009

Excercise makes you fat

That's right everyone! Throw away your bikes..

Nice piece of misleading journalism, who'd'a thunk it hey?

Fighting the fat, one day at a time...

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Rocket Man

Well I am back on the bike and training with somewhat normality now which is great, but now it's time to do a bit of a business plug.

I have gotten myself involved with a new cycling clothing label named Rocket Man Design that's soon to be coming our way from the West of Australia. By next week I'll have some sample clothing and will be hauling myself around to a variety of different bikeshops to see who wants to stock this sweet looking new brand, hopefully I don't have to work too hard! Should be out and about at the Suntour sales or Bay Crits so come up and say g'day and try out the new gear.

The man in charge Rod Harding is doing an early bird special, offering free postage for anyone who wants to pre-order a jersey. They are selling for $65 a jersey but if you buy more than 5 it comes down to $60 a jersey. This runs till the 30th of September

Anyway, blatant plug over, and off to the gym for an epic pilates session on my severely underdeveloped left glute!

Got some snaps of the sample clothing

Saturday, September 5, 2009

On the Road Again


The two weeks of ergo training turned out to be just one week. Thank god.

I am back on the road and loving every minute of it. Had a nice ride today, mostly solo to Frankston with a little stretch at 58kph (!!) when the tailwind driven hell ride passed me at Carrum, the bunch was looking big and messy, it's going to be hectic come summer time. The ride back, for me, was not so quick..but the battle against the wind was worth it as Dan B, Diesel Dylan, Steve Robb and yours truly chilled out in the sun at Threshers talking shit. The coffee shop is universally agreed upon as the most integral part to any serious cyclists regime, but it's just not the same when you are injured and hobble your way down to the coffee shop, something about the combination of a bit of fatigue and the joy of stewing in your own stench (much to the malign of those around you hey Wendy!) that really uplifts the whole experience. Just to top it all of I am getting pretty darn excited at the thought of heading out towards Kinglake tomorrow, so very happy now!

Now I battle the clock and my lack of fitness to get some sort of form up and running before the next block of racing.

Wish me luck, I'll need it!


Sunday, August 30, 2009

Word Association

ERGO: monotonous, tedious lonely, boring, painful, masochistic, sweaty, uncomfortable, dreary, draining, incessant, insufferable, sphincter wrenchingly hard, KILL ME NOW!

ERGO: necessary, effective, efficient, beneficial, specific, intense.

It felt like it was only yesterday. I crashed, broke my collarbone and was bound to my BT ergo for a month of stationary salt crusted sweaty cycling. Oh Goodie. Well that was all the way back in January and time has flown. Since then someone has dialled down the clock and the last 4 weeks have gone sooooooooooo slowly!

Well, one good discovery I made yesterday is that I can start training again after a month of nothing. The dark side to this revelation, I can only do it on the ergo. Oh Goodie.

Basically, I can pedal OK, no pain, all good. But as you’d expect with a recovering pelvis fracture or two, stability is hard to come by and I still have 2 weeks to go before I can expect any real strength. Therefore, equipped with some towels and an I-pod I’ve got two weeks of joyous motionless exercise coming up. You guessed it, Oh Goodie.

You may be noticing a theme in some of my blog posts of late, something a bit like this,

Life is so hard
Last minutes reflection on why life isn’t that hard and I should toughen up princess

Well, this one, it’s no different! I read about guys in the northern hemisphere who spend 2-3 months at least over winter doing all their training indoors while it snows outside! I guess we are just spoilt in Australia, aren’t we?

Other news is I have plans in the pipeline for some racing later in the year and also looking at next year. Fingers crossed it all comes to fruition.



Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Get Slammed

Last week I was lucky enough to get a try out on a set of SLAM Pedals courtesy of Raoul Leuscher

After following the progress of Nick Mitchell using these pedals via his blog . The curiousity got the better of me and I thought I just have to give them a go.

1) It's tough
2) It is actually like riding with a double leg motion but with only one leg
3) If I have any more debilitating injuries that stop me from using one leg whilst the other is still good, I now know what I'll be doing for my rehab!

Yesterday I got slammed to an even higher degree; I got my wisdom teeth out. Now I'm excitedly only a few days away from starting some proper training again, ye-ha!

Despite what everyone told me about getting teeth out; massive swelling, soup for a week etc. It wasn't that bad. The most painful aspect was being stuck in a crammed little ward next to 'Norm' from Traralgon. He runs an amateur radio station of his own, so let's just say he likes to talk, A LOT! But seriously he was a nice guy and I went through a bit of Forest Gump morning learning all about 42 (the meaning of life) from a self proclaimed country bumpkin.

Our morning together finished with a conclusion of sorts, whilst discussing the finer aspects of all the pubs in Traralgon, he said:
"Ya know, I don't smoke, I don't drink, but I sure do a lot of this!!!!"
*makes sexual motions with his left index finger and the circle created with the right index finger and thumb*

Laughing within an hour of having your wisdom teeth taken out hurts!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

So what now?


No Murray Tour. No Grafton to Inverell, probably no Goulburn to Citi.

Getting my wisdom teeth pulled on Monday, I figure while I am supposed to be chilling out, I may as well get knocked out and have someone massacre my precious gums.

Plus nothing but soup for a few days is my secret plan to stay as light as a feather before Tour of Tassie.

So now instead of having a break after the Warnie this year I am having it now instead. So come nationals in Jan I will be on top of my game and hopefully have all bones in 100% working order.

I get some more radiation in the forms of an X-Ray and CT-Scan tomorrow to see how my pelvis is healing.

But to put it all in perspective, this tough nutter standing next to me here

Crashed on his skates and broke his back (I've been told he is in a brace and walking so coming along OK) So I need to toughen up and deal with my problems, because others have it much, much worse! Good luck with the recovery Toby.

Other than that, some guest blogging on Cyling Tips coming your way soon

That's all.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Pubic Rami

According to the radiologist, mine have some undisplaced fractures. Chuck in a moderately intense oedema and some evidence of a periosteal haematoma and I've confused the hell out of everyone.

It's ok though, DO NOT FRET! There is minimal joint fusion, articular cartilage is preserved and the fibrocartilaginous labrum is normal, phew!

English: I am like an old lady with a broken pelvis. Hit ground hard, pelvis go snap snap.


Double Dam.

Time to change around the season plans a little.

But it's really not that bad. I'll be riding by next week. This week I'll be visiting the methadone clinic to feed my addiction.

Updates as they come to hand


EDIT-This is from my crash at Gippsland btw.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Spilling the beans on Java

Let’s cup the crap. No time for airy fairy waffle here. There are three crucial aspects to any cycling tour; the food, the coffee and of course the cycling. So in an effort to keep my rambling as succinct as possible I thought I’d shoot off a quick fire report day by day as follows:

Location: Jombang, East Java, Indonesia.

Pre Race
Coffee Report- Non existent! There is nowhere to get a coffee in Jombang, nowhere! What to do? Well Brad Hall our team leader took some directions and came back 750,000 Rupiah lighter with a coffee machine in his hands. It was a weird percolator style machine but it did the trick Excellent.

Food Report
Great. Dinner at a local restaurant proved to be a big winner, lots of good rice and noodle dishes, some curry, some sate skewers and some soup. Top notch. I was full, mission accomplished.

Day 1
Coffee Report
Sufficient. UHT milk and 3rd run percolator, I must have been desperate

Race Report
Lasted 20 k. Sore, injured, should have stayed home. Day not wasted though, spent the rest of the race (4 hours!!) in an ambulance eating peanuts and giving feeds and drinks to the autobus. A nice day helping out and watching a bunch of salt crusted blokes wobble all over the shop for the last hour of a 200k stage while they experienced what appeared to be all new levels of hypoglycaemia and the associated hallucinating/suffering/discomfort/urge to kill whoever suggested they take up cycling.

Dinner Report
Repeat of previous night. Again, flawless. The addition of Gado Gado (peanut + shrimp paste sate sauce on top of stack of vegies and potatoes) brought the level up another notch. Many belts were loosened. The locals were bemused at the silly westerners who had to ride 200k each day because they ate so much ate dinner.

Day 2
Coffee Report
Not bad. Brad had perfected the art of the percolator, 1st run was hitting the spot

Race Report
I spent day 2 in the team car doing a whole lot of nothing. Sad, boring, frustrating, but that’s was it. Did some feeding, ate some food my self but pretty much did nothing. Watched all the boys put their arses on the line for team climber Adam Semple who put in another solid ride.

Dinner Report
We made the move to venture to another restaurant, it was an interesting choice. We had no idea what we were ordering so we took the sensible option of ordering nearly everything on the menu. Only halfway through did another team arrive and translate the Bahasa jibberish to a more familiar English. As the words liver, heart and tongue made their way into the conversation most of the forks surrounding me were holstered with lightening speed. I took one for the team and finished off the offal but passed on the cold chicken, some boundaries are made for pushing, but chicken cooked who knows how long ago in a dirty kitchen with no fridge is getting too adventurous for me.

Day 3
Coffee Report
See above

Race Report
See above

Dinner Report
Back to our original haunt. Stomachs full again. Satisfaction level high again. Only difference was this evening we had fireworks, lots of fireworks! Needless to say, the hotel rooftop beckoned. The only comment I can make from that evening is that I can see why fireworks are illegal, they sure are fun, but they sure are dangerous!

Last Day

Coffee Report
Who am I kidding, percolator coffee sucks. Sucks! Give me some fresh ground, a good tamp, a big Synesso and let the magic happen.

Travel report
Suicidal highway travel, tediously boring plane travel, stiff, sore, generally down about life at this point in time.

Food Report
Did anyone say all you can eat buffet at the Singapore Airlines lounge in Surabaya?!? I got my moneys worth, let’s leave it at that!

Indonesia is hot. It is polluted and smoggy. It is not overly clean. The traffic is crazy. The coffee is lacking. But I loved every minute of it!

The people are really friendly, the food is fantastic (obviously if you want a chicken parma for dinner you’ll go hungry..), the exchange rate is brilliant

If you have a chance to go, then go!

Next up is recovery and rehab to get my left glute firing was again, some hard training and some SERIOUS uni catch up. Econometrics anyone?



Tuesday, August 11, 2009


Waiting for my flight back to depart.

Waiting for my suspect looking cappuccino to arrive

Waiting for my last few bits of road rash to heal

Waiting for my emails to load.

Waiting for the diclofenac to kick in

But most of all I am waiting for my sore hip to heal so I can ride with vengeance once again.

The long and short of it is that I was not ready to race again by the time we rolled to the start in Jombang for stage one of the Tour of East Java. It took only 25k for me to pull the pin, must be some sort of record.

So I spent the rest of the tour just resting, eating barbecued corn from the street vendors and hanging out in the team car watching people suffer.

I'll give another write up with some juicy juicy details of all the highlights of our time in Java. But right now, it's time for sate ayam, gado gado, a touch of rendang and maybe a bintang or three to fuel another red eye flight back to the land of Oz

And on a random note I see that Durbridge won the Junior World TT champs, that is awesome news!

Bye for now,


EDITED- Sleep deprived grammar mistakes...

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Rest, recovery and a million other things at once.

I am currently listening to last weeks Econometrics lecture giving me a thrilling review of last semesters fundamentals of probability, while typing a blog entry, while checking my baggage allowance for my flights tomorrow, while rubbing voltaren onto my sore whip lashed neck! What is the expected value of me completing any of these tasks properly? A bit rhetorical I think....

The long and short of it is, I am leaving on a jet plane tomorrow night bound for Surabaya and some more exciting Asian UCI racing. Many, many thanks to the West Australian Institute of Sport and their main supporter in Plan B Wealth Management for giving me another guest appearance in their line up, it's fantastic to be able to switch sides and go do a race like this on a one off basis.

Other than that, I shall try to get some updates from Indon but if not I'll get some reportage happening when I hit the tulla tarmac in a weeks time.

If there was one thing I am looking forward to the most, it would actually be the food. Trying some traditional Rendang or Nasi Goreng (I hear there are loads of rabbits in Java...) from a rickety old street cart is definitely what I am after, screw hotel meals!

Be back in a week!

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Gippsland in Review

Sorry my daily updates disappeared but I was stuck without the internet for 2 nights, it was pure hell I tell you, no email, no cyclingnews, no facebook, but I toughed it out. And managed to leave half of my skin in the aptly named Paynesville.

The rest of the tour for me was good and bad.

On stage 6 I put my balls on the line or so to speak attacked up the road. Though unlikely to hold it I was yellow jersey on the road for a while, but a bit like poor old Cadel in his spat with Thor and Fabian; no one wanted to work with me! Oh well, I had a crack, drove the pace on the uphills and got some KOM points.

Other than that the rest of the tour consisted of crits and one other road race where not too much happened. I lost time in some splits towards the end of some stages which where a result of my laziness which was ridiculously dumb of me, and I also got leapfrogged by a few guys who took bonus seconds at sprints or KOM's. In the end I slipped down to 6th on GC, certainly a good result but the podium was beckoning. My VIS team mates all worked really well for me, it was just unfortunate we did not have radios for the race. It made for some spectacular miscommunications and coordinating a bit of protection from the crosswinds was impossible, but hey that's life!

Many more salad bars were demolished by some of Victoria’s hungriest cyclists and the best meal I had all week was a whole baked Snapper from one of the race sponsors; the Bairnsdale RSL. All in all we ate well this week.

Now I have to dress some wounds, get my bike sorted (somehow my sexy new bouwmeester carbons are completely true!), catch up on a week of uni and get ready to fly to East Java on Wednesday night. Busy indeed!


Taking Skin Donations

Stories Later....

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Just a quickie...

...to say all is good after day two at Gippsland.

Made it through the crit OK this morning and managed to stay away from any trouble.

In the road race today a small group got up the road after some rough riding in the early crosswinds. The bunch went into shutdown mode but my team mates got straight to the front and kept the gap under control for me. I attacked once we hit the first real climb of around 4k and the other GC guys were straight on my wheel. We traded a few blows but nothing too serious.

We flew down the descent towards Walhalla and then flew up the last climb. The last 2k into Walhalla averaged 5% and the front group went up it at 31 kph, so no one was getting away! I got boxed in a the finish and maybe snuck in at about 15th. Was an ok day. I moved into 3rd on GC after the crit in the morning but at this point in time I am not sure on where I sit due to time bonuses from KOMs in the road race.

Anyway, another day, another 2 stages, another devasted salad bar and a whole load of tired legs. Can't wait for tomorrow!


Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Motel Madness

Instant coffee sachets, little packets of cookies, tiny shower gel containers, overpriced washing machines, towels on the racks or in the bath tub, slow wireless, WIN and PRIME and never enough pillows. Yes it's life on the road. The road to glory for some, for me it's just the boring old road to Traralgon and beyond in the Tour of Gippsland.

Day one is down with two short road stages now under my belt. The first stage was flat and windy and the bunch split a few times with various crashes. Kane Walker won the uphill kick impressively, me, I was in the bunch and felt good, job done.

The next stage we raced two loops around Traralgon south up a vicious 1k berg then went straight out of town and up Mt Tassie. The climb went for about 30-40 minutes, it's all a blur I just remember attacking once at the bottom, attacking a second time, and we were away! We had a solid group with some dam strong climber, Tim Roe and Jai Crawford were pushing it for Savings and Loans and Adam Semple was keeping the pace up for the AIS team.

To say the descent was sketchy would be understatement of the century. It was nuts! Mudd, moss, rocks, dirt, rain, ferns, branches, and four, yes, 1,2,3,4 pick a plank tyre swallowing bridges! Somehow I am still alive to write this story, somehow.

As we neared the finish the attacks started, I did a big bridge up to one attack then went straight over the top. In the end it was Leigh Howard, David Kemp, Tim Roe and myself away with about 2k to go. The sprint for me was not great, I was planning an attack before the sprint but then kinda ended up on the front into the corner at 300 to go basically leading the others out. Hmmm, not good Jono, not good. So 4th it was.

A good start and I was happy to show some climbing legs on the first day. I can't wait for some more of the hilly road races to have a crack.

On a side note, all you can eat salad bar really does mean ALL you can eat. And this evening we ate all we could eat, possibly more...


Friday, July 24, 2009

Up and Coming

I'm excited. Big Kev excited.

The big races have arrived, finally!

Over the next few months, in between bludging econometrics and macroeconomics lectures and downing double espressos at Castro's, I will be racing my arse off*

*Not to be confused with dancing my arse off, god save us from that heap of junk reality TV show.

Gippsland, East Java, Murray and Tasmania are all good hard tours I will be racing between now and October. The one and only Grafton to Inverell is also on the calendar and I am hoping to make it to the Goulburn to Citi to improve on 4th from last year, but logistics are looking fuzzy at this stage! It will all come to a close for this road season with the Warnie. I hope the gutterage* from Melbourne to Ballarat will give me a bit more confidence in windy conditions.

*From the verb 'to gutter', oft used in contexts such as, "Let's F******* gutter these ****s"

I tell you what, Aussie domestic racing is really taking off. Just have a look at the field for Gippsland this year! Big names galore! It'll be tough that's for sure.

Had a very interesting convo with Raoul Luescher today about all things aero. The man is an absolute fountain of knowledge. Hopefully I can put some of it to use and drag myself round the Geelong Tour TT course in a decent time, will be interesting so soon after Tour of East Java, I think I'll be absolutely flying or devastatingly slow; no middle ground!

Like I said at the start, I'm excited. It'll be good to just race and recover. My evil coach has turned me into a training robot (don't get me wrong, it's been working) but over the last week I have finally cracked. I have ramped up the rest time and actually had nearly a full week holidays. So now I need some races! Pronto.

In even more exciting news, the VIS DS next week will be none other that Hilton Clarke senior, and in his words, all those roadies in the convoy better watch out, trackie comin thru! Let the fireworks begin, just hope my radio isn't turned up too loud!

Final confession is that I won't make the Blackburn TT this sunday. It's a hard call, but I am committed to a mate's Ventoux et Vino party on saturday evening, say no more.

Finally, check out my new banner pic up top, Arnaud managed to photoshop some muscles onto my legs... clever guy.

Keep riding.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

A Bee's Dick

Is how close I came to pocketing the $3,000 first place prize cheque and the $2,500 prize cheque in the Melbourne to Ballarat Handicap today. What did I get? $150 for 4th, better than nothing eh?

The scratch group was motoring along all day in the solid cross winds and chilly air, I can assure you much gutter time was had by all! I spent a lot of time staying near Mr Protour Leigh Howard and David Pell waiting for the inevitable bar chewing gutter frenzy that was on the way. They didn't disappoint.

We started out really, really hard from Ted's Cafe in picturesque downtown Rockbank, obviously everyone was keen to get going. I nearly got popped in the first minute but eventually settled down and got on with the job.

We flew up Pentland Hills on the way out of Bacchus Marsh slowly catching and shedding riders as we went. The day was a procession of seeing riders up the road look around, see us, panic, try to get on, sit on for a bit, then get blown away to battle the winds alone. Harsh, cruel, a touch sadistic, but hey, this is cycling.

Eventually the group was whittled down to 6 of us with 15k to go. I threw in an attack at 2.5k to go hoping to thwart the sprinters and I really thought I had it this time! I only got out to maybe 7-8 seconds but I was holding them until the last 50 metres when Brett Tivers, James Mowatt and Leigh Howard swamped me. Dam. Dam. Dam.

Have a look at how close it was! After such a hard effort to get caught so close to the line is well; harsh, cruel and very bloody sadistic, but yep, that's cycling.

After last weeks effort I am certain next time I'll hold on, either that or fall off trying!

EDIT-Some great photo's here.

Time for some couch action.


Monday, July 13, 2009

The Long and Windy Road

Saturday started early with me driving down to Paraparap just past Geelong to race a Geelong CC Time trial. Did a good warm up on the roadie then chucked on my skinsuit, grabbed the TT bike and mounted for the fray. The course was a blast, lots of undulations and a howling wind made for a great out and back course of 27k. I finally got my pacing right after a few poorly paced TTs of late and came home with the win in 38mins and 11 seconds averaging 43.8 kph. Thanks to Geelong CC for running a great little race, everything was done and results sorted with no fuss. Then it was time to do some more horizontal riding in the wind and pray that the rain held off. Somehow I got 3.5 hours of riding on Saturday without a drop of moisture, not sure how, but I ain’t complaining!

Edit- A nice write up from Geelong CC, they better not praise me too much, I wont be able to fit my Lazer Aero helmet on any more!

Sunday was the Victorian 100km Championships in Port Fairy. The wind was up again and the rain came down in spurts but I’m told it was not a patch on the horrors of Hamilton from the day before. The racing was a typical mix of aggression and negativity and in the end I made the right break with Dan Braunsteins and a stack of Decked Out riders. After we settled into a nice tempo another group came across bringing more riders and even more Decked Out team members, this was going to be a tough group to get away from. There were repeated attacks from the never tiring Prime Estate team duo Reece Stephens and John Cornish, Rush Racing's kiwi import Myles Watson and of course yours truly. As the rain started to pour I began cursing myself for not cleaning the salt from my helmet, boy oh boy were my eyes stinging; never mind, just keep attacking! Unfortunately, none of the attacks split the breakaway for long enough and it seemed we were destined for a small group kick to the line.

In the end it all stuck together until I had a final go at the flame rouge. I got out to a small gap and was crossing my fingers that the others would look at each other for just long enough. No such luck, the Decked Out boys set up a good lead out and delivered Sam Witmitz to the win. I was having flashbacks to many stages of the Tour watching unlucky escapee’s getting swamped 100 metres from the line! At least I was only out front for 1 kilometre, not 200! That would be heartbreaking.

A quick change, a coffee, a roast beef roll and 3 hours jamming to Triple J in the car and I was home ready to relax and watch the tour!

As I sit typing this, more than 24 hours after the race finished, I still find myself picking bits of dirt and grit out my eyes and ears!

Next up is Melbourne to Ballarat. The talk around town has been about the pretty steep $75 dollar entry fee, it is more than other events, but not every event goes straight up a double carriageway highway! Either way, it’s gutter time!


Sunday, July 12, 2009

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Hectic Holidays

I was just saying the other day, I have an innate ability to fill my holidays to the point where it seems there is no ‘holiday’ to speak of. I can just hear the 9-5ers jeering me, a 12 hour a week ‘full time’ student who lives at home and works a ‘tough’ 9 hours in a deli/supermarket (where he spends more time filling his rolls with jamon and Roquefort than actually working) and is generally well looked after by his parents does not need a holiday, you’re on permanent holiday! And they are probably right to some extent, but hey, I train pretty hard!

A broken chain whilst out training today threw a massive spanner in the works of my finely planned routine, apart from skidding through an intersectio after the chain caught under my rear tyre, I missed two appointments and had to drive over to Malvern to get it all sorted. Massive thanks to Matt from Cycle Inn who helped out with some mechanical assistance while VIS mechanic Bob Farley is over in Italy lapping up the sun! The nice new 11spd Campy chains are supposed to installed ONLY by a nicely machined and horrendously overpriced $400 (or possibly more…) chain tool. Anyway, my bike is sparkling and the gears are smooth, ready to roll now.

I guess it all comes back to the economic principle (that I heard between naps during my afternoon lectures…) of scarcity. Plain and simple, there ain’t enough time to do everything; so my take, do what you want, go cycling!

The other lesson from today’s lecture; clean your bike, properly! If I had I would most likely have noticed the dodgy link and at least the fact that my rear derailleur was loose and about to create a spoke sandwich next time I violently whacked it into the 11.

More exciting news is I am off to race the Tour of East Java (2.2) with the Plan B/WAIS team in early August which will be great fun. My coach is talking up some indoor ergo sessions with the heaters blaring to get me ready for the heat, either way, it’s going to be hot, hard and hectic. Can’t wait!



Monday, July 6, 2009

Tour de France Recovery Routine

It just so happens that the Tour coincides so very nicely with my Uni holidays.

Every morning is a scared ritual of dragging myself out of bed, grabbing a bowl of muesli, a pot of tea and also a coffee and laying on the couch and watchings last nights recording of the tour. Easier than completely destroying my sleep patterns for 3 weeks, then trying to head into second semester of uni and the tour of gippsland on 5 hours sleep a night!

Big congrats to Shane Miller for winning another time trial in Wangaratta despite the press halting misquotations of the CCCC tifosi! ;-)

For an old master (read: Not that old at all master!) he sure goes quick over 20k!

Have fun at work guys, holiday time beckons, hello TV my old friend....


Saturday, July 4, 2009

Going Solo

Had a good day at the Eildon Road Race today soloing off the front to win by about 4 minutes from the remainders of the A grade peleton.

The circuit was fantastic and big thanks to Blackburn CC for putting on such a good road race. We did 2x46k loops with a nice ~7k climb up skyline road coming out of Eildon.

We rode gruppo compatto to the first climb then I had a pretty hard dig and got away. I eased up, waited for my VIS teamate Eric Sheppard to catch me then paced him up the climb and we proceeded to swap turns along the flat back towards the start at Thornton. At one stage the chasers had us back in their sight but I said to Eric we just needed to make the bottom of the climb and we were home as we had the others nailed once it got a little vertical.

10k from the bottom of the second climb Eric made the call to drop back and I kept going chewing some stem and grovelled a flat stick TT effort to the bottom of the climb. 2nd time up I was in my element just in the 'zone' or so to speak. Then just rode the descent trying not to drop it then jammed it to the line for a good days work.

The highlight of the day was the freshly baked date scones in healesville on the trip out, definitely gave me the winning edge.

I am now looking forward to getting on my front and rear Bouwmeester Echelons and getting slammed in the gutter at the 100k champs in Port Fairy next weekend. I have ridden the front a couple of times and it feels very nice but after I glue a tyre on properly to the rear it will be great to rip it up on some proper race wheels. Last time I enjoyed such a luxury was the first stage in the Tour of Thailand! After that I cracked both of my previous race wheels, a fork and a new 11spd Campy lever which is worth more than my life insurance policy! Not to mention my mate Langers who wrote off two expensive race wheels and cracked his VIS issue Bianchi in 3 places; they say travel in Asia is cheap....

Anyway, enough rambling from me.


Thursday, July 2, 2009


Great to see the money I spent to get to Thailand with the Plan B team payed off!
Me and my mate Adam both qualifying from the same race, awesome!

That there is a squad of superstars though and unless start winning every one of my next few races solo by 4 minutes with one leg I doubt I'll be riding worlds this year, but I'll just keep chipping away, year by year. Frankly, when half those guys are Pro next year I'll have a good shot!

Wet and windy beach road today. A lot of fiddling with my TT set-up lately, will take a while to really nail it down.

Looking forward to some hilly racing in Eildon this weekend, Blackburn CC really do put on some awesome circuits for road racing.


Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Wind and Rain.

Well before I pretty up my new site I thought I'd just ramble on for a bit, which is in essence the purpose of a blog is it not? It is also the domain of a Uni student on holidays looking to fill in some spare 'relax' time.

Well today was very windy but fortunately it only really picked up for my return trip from Kinglake. It wasn't too wet, but I was pretty apprehensive at the top of Wild Dog looking at the dark black mist surrounding Kinglake, it was pretty foreboding.

So I wussed out and only did 1 climb instead of 2 and skipped a bakery stop as I had to jam the pace to get home in time for my massage with Arnaud in the arvo.

That's all for now.


PS- I have to add this little tidbit before I forget, 3 x 1/20 Time Trials + 3 x Cinamon Doughnuts= 3 Victories . Sorry Carl , our secret is out.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009


I have succumbed,
First it was facebook, then twitter,
Finally a blog,
Let's hope it lives up.